Today I was left another dropping. It came in the form of an e-mail from the GOP inviting me to send them some cash. “Send us some money or you’ll have to live under democrat rule.” Oh no. These guys can’t even jin up scary thoughts for their own supporters. I mean, really, what is scarier, democrats that we have had to deal with for the last five years or republicans that hate their base? And, Chris McNulty (twitter @GOP ), sending the e-mail with the subject line of “[No Subject] (2)” as if you had answered my last missive, was cute. A bit condescending, but cute. It just reminded me that you didn’t answer my last e-mail.
But I do know how to get you to listen, Mr. McNulty. It came to me while I was researching a eastern religion/cult. It is so simple in complexity it is staggering. And the perpetrators can be unemployed for years. There can be no stopping them. Their lives will have meaning again, just like the lives of the illegal aliens John Boehner wants to legalize, only different.
First, lets look at Boehner’s last election. His vote total was 142,731 in 2010. Generally speaking, in a primary election you have about 30% of that vote. 42,819.
Mr. Boehner has a challenger this cycle. His name is Eric Gurr. Mr. Gurr is severe conservative, like Mitt Romney, only different. He means it. I don’t know Mr. Gurr, except what I read, but Boehner isn’t listening, so he has to go.
Eric Gurr, CEO of a computer consulting firm says he will challenge Boehner, primarily because of two things: Boehner’s position on immigration reform and his support for U.S. military involvement in Syria. (Boehner says he supports incremental immigration reform, but Gurr won’t have any of that).
We now know Boehner supports more than “incremental reform”. He supports full-mental reform.
The primary election is May 6, 2014 in Ohio. And as you might expect, the eligibility laws are very stringent:
Ohio law requires that every voter, upon appearing at the polling place to vote on Election Day, to announce his or her full name and current address and provide proof of the voter’s identity.
The forms of identification that may be used by a voter who appears at a polling place to vote on an Election Day include:
- A current and valid photo identification card issued by the State of Ohio or the United States government; or
- A military identification (“military ID”); or
- An original or copy of a current utility bill; or
- An original or copy of a current bank statement; or
- An original or copy of a current government check; or
- An original or copy of a current paycheck; or
- An original or copy of a current other government document, other than a voter registration acknowledgement notification mailed by the board of elections, that shows the voter’s name and current address.
According to the Domestic Mail Manual, the Post Office is required to deliver mail as marked on the envelope.
If you tell them where you will receive it, they must get it to you, it might take a while, but by law, they must give it their best effort. And if you tell them where you are, they will have no excuse.
Which brings us to The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. He sort of devised this plan in the ’80s. You see, a homeless person cannot be denied the right to vote. A campsite is a mailing address. And the Public Library will no doubt be delighted to mail you a library card. All you have to do is tell the letter carrier where to deliver it, or stop by the local post office and tell them you want “General Delivery”. Once you have the library card, you go register to vote. Just remember to register before April 6th, and that your campsite is in OH-08.
Come to think of it, a letter from the unemployment office would do nicely as it would reflect a higher rate of unemployment in the district.
The Bhagwan came up with 7,000 registered voters. With only about 21,410 votes needed to get Mr. Boehner to listen and an already viable candidate, I’m sure just the sight of 10,000 campers will bring Mr. Boehner to tears.
Hell, the sight of a good steak would bring him to tears, but that is another problem.
Be a happy camper, dump Boehner.