One Final “Sod Off, Swampy”

 

 

Well, I guess it’s true. If Aggie_Sith says so.  Twice. And Emperor Misha I. And Crunchie. Even BC.

He stopped by Floriduh several years ago, to learn the finer points of  politely asking people not to bother him. When I met him, he seemed a ‘natural’- an unassuming radical right-wing death beast who didn’t much care what rules his leftist government made. They want to tax booze? Not a problem. He’ll make his own, thankyouverymuchly.

During his “adventures” he would come across stuff like this:

One can see just how his mind worked: “How many gallons liters of rum could I make with that?”

Regulate firearms?

 

Screw you.

Darth Bakon, the Jew with the tattoo, almost got him to go ‘churchin’ when he found out there is a titty-bar across the street from every church in the South. Dart and EFA kept me awake for days droning on about one thing or another. I’m sure it was a plot to weaken me so EFA could secure my title from me. The lad put up a good contest. He had the potential. He would have made a fine champion. Dayum that lad could drink.

He brought Cuban cigars from Australia so we could smoke them 90 miles away from Castro. He smoked incessantly. The only thing that slowed him down was rolling his own. I am certain he rolled his own, not because he was cheap, but because he didn’t want to pay the cigarette tax- for the chilruns.

After his visit to Floriduh to see for himself the difference between crocodiles and alligators, he landed at O’hare where he got word that one of the revelers, who shall remain nameless, thinned his blood so much that he was hospitalized. He caught the next flight back to Floriduh to go to the hospital where he stayed until the “all clear” was given. It must have been the chicken-fried lasagna. (Dart-send me a photo.)

EFA’s afternoon snack

 

He travel through much of the U.S. that month taking in all the usual sites except when he got to Utah he had to make a run for the border. He must have got there on the Mormon Sabbath.

Put a few on ice for me, EFA, their gunna need to be cold where I’m going.

Your virgins are waiting for you.

 

 

 

 

10 Responses to “One Final “Sod Off, Swampy””

  1. LC Aggie Sith Says:

    That’s beautiful, Mope. You made me cry. Again.

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  2. LC Aggie Sith Says:

    Here’s the chicken lasagna. I posted it on the post below, dang it.

    http://s60.photobucket.com/user/Cheapshot911/media/Chickenfriedlasagnia.jpg.html?t=1241502434

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  3. Azygos Says:

    Mope that was beautiful. Faucets working just fine here, again.

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  4. B.C. Says:

    Awesome tribute, my man. Eric’s sitting at the bar laughing his ass off over this. That Fest will forever be remembered as some of the best times ever had on the planet.

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  5. Lobo Says:

    Aye, fookin fittin.
    Eric was there when I walked through the hell of loosing my Mom. His jokes brought me out of a very dark place. Ye’ve gone way to fucking soon mate.

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  6. Ten-Ten Says:

    Mope, great tribute to Eric. That Fest was one for the ages, EFA did his take on “The Crocodile Hunter”…Crikey!!! Funny, funny man.

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  7. Rebel Mope Says:

    Yaknow, Ten, I forgot about that. Crikey was that funny. With that drink snorkeling it’s way thru Aggie_Sith’s nose, the Mooseknuckle, SNAKES!, and the bathroom waste baskets filled with beer bottle caps… Dart’s cookin’, Cheapshot’s homebrew, Rurik… BC saying “Look at this sorry sumbitch…”, as I was guzzling a beer at the crack of dawn, and enough firepower to invade Cuba (Only to get more Ceegars, mind you.) I never had such a good time in my life.

    Dayum, yaknow, we really ought to have another, where we could send EFA off proper. Like a 521 gun salute. And rum.

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  8. Cheapshot911 Says:

    We the toasted “If you can make your own beer, and your own happiness, y’never run out”.
    He never ran out.
    ‘Hope he’s toppin’ off with Warspite these days.
    Peace eternal, Eric.

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  9. Radical Redneck Says:

    Fest was fantastic. On day 2 Eric and I went out for a giant liquor run since I was the only one with A. a car and B. somewhat sober. With that crew it was a giant undertaking and the 2 of us were gone about 90 minutes. I got to talk to him one on one which a blast and that I’ll never forget.

    We took our sweet time getting back. Bonus was the horror and desperation of Mope waiting for his Sam’s.

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  10. hilljohnny Says:

    thank you Mope

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